When was the last time you questioned your values in life? Most people have built a definition of success and happiness based on other’s opinions.

Our values and belief system are shaped by the people and environment we grow up in. It starts early, right in the 1st year of our lives, where we learn to value what our parents’ value because that’s how we can get their undivided attention. By the time we reach our teenage years, our values start to transform based on our friends’ values and other people’s definition of being cool. This continues through our college years and work environment. This is very concerning because when we continue living our lives without knowing our own values; we instead start living a life based on society’s and everyone else’s values. This ultimately results in personal failure and unhappiness.

While success is an external metric, on the flip side fulfillment is an internal metric of success. Fulfillment comes from knowing who you are and knowing your values. All individuals feel more fulfilled once they know that what they do in life aligns closely to personal values that they live by.

Bad values rely on external conditions. It is superstitious, socially corrosive, not controllable and immediate. Examples of this are: valuing pleasure, valuing material success, value of being right, and value of staying positive.

On the other hand, good values rely on your own actions and your internal conditions which you have control of. Thus, good values are reality based, socially beneficial, immediate and controllable. Some examples are: Honesty, standing up for oneself, empathy, patience, humility, modesty and creativity.

What you focus on, you will manifest more of in your life. If you focus on the situations and things that you have no control over, like your failures and fears, that is exactly what you will attract. This behavior of focusing on the negative aspects of your life will make you frustrated, depressed, and leave you feeling like you have no control. The point being, focus is synonymous with self-empowerment. Leaders are aware of their values and focus on what they can control, like their strengths and commitments.